it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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