I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
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