Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
3 2 1 whiskey
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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