You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
