so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
