Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Randomize
