i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
