haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
