My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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