Me too!
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
