There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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