do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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