Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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