She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
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Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
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Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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