toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize