She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He shit in the fireplace
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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