remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
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