oh god the rape fog is back!
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
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He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
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I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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