you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
