yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
