you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
