Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
