I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
