White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
