True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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