In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize