omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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