All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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