I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
We smell like vodka and hangover
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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