u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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