He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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