Texts From Last Night

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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?

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  (970): Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet? http://tfl.nu/tasx
  Replies (3) Good night (1877) Bad night (676)
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  (858): View more from California

  i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see

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  (858): i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see http://tfl.nu/4pqk
  Replies (25) Good night (748) Bad night (2634)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.

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  (502): I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off. http://tfl.nu/n96o
  Replies (30) Good night (5264) Bad night (1572)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Hookers taste better with whip cream

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too

  (417): View more from Missouri

  Fair enough

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  (417): Hookers taste better with whip cream (816): Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too (417): Fair enough http://tfl.nu/svnz
  Replies (45) Good night (4120) Bad night (1403)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was

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  (514): I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was http://tfl.nu/5j8j
  Replies (14) Good night (7279) Bad night (3435)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.

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  (727): hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week. http://tfl.nu/6l6t
  Replies (15) Good night (1710) Bad night (3840)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night

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  (440): It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night http://tfl.nu/ffc5
  Replies (17) Good night (1169) Bad night (2495)
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.

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  (709): Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you. http://tfl.nu/s4f8
  Replies (13) Good night (1470) Bad night (3725)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day

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  (330): BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day http://tfl.nu/u4vh
  Replies (9) Good night (1771) Bad night (796)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.

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  (910): Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad. http://tfl.nu/mvcz
  Replies (4) Good night (576) Bad night (1041)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.

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  (210): Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it. http://tfl.nu/gvf3
  Replies (8) Good night (672) Bad night (1231)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.

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  (734): She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night. http://tfl.nu/qun7
  Replies (5) Good night (1011) Bad night (689)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.

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  (816): Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again. http://tfl.nu/9z7k
  Replies (1) Good night (586) Bad night (1085)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad

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  (319): She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad http://tfl.nu/w994
  Replies (1) Good night (620) Bad night (366)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus

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  (913): I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus http://tfl.nu/wt4b
  Replies (2) Good night (712) Bad night (224)

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