Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I accidentally burped into my bong.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.