Texts From Last Night

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  (551): View more from New Jersey

  Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"

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  (551): Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead (201): NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it" http://tfl.nu/4pzt
  Replies (85) Good night (4855) Bad night (1076)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school

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  (904): i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school http://tfl.nu/ysoe
  Replies (59) Good night (10192) Bad night (949)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.

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  (405): you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend. http://tfl.nu/xacy
  Replies (9) Good night (5602) Bad night (612)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call

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  (248): dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call http://tfl.nu/9cld
  Replies (66) Good night (1362) Bad night (5146)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?

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  (913): high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life? http://tfl.nu/lv3r
  Replies (10) Good night (3660) Bad night (926)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.

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  (954): It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride. http://tfl.nu/ze4c
  Replies (4) Good night (2511) Bad night (1602)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch

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  (206): before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch http://tfl.nu/cp10
  Replies (14) Good night (2060) Bad night (723)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off

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  (303): I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off http://tfl.nu/ymwa
  Replies (13) Good night (876) Bad night (872)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself

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  (815): I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself http://tfl.nu/6sc5
  Replies (2) Good night (1094) Bad night (507)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man

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  (604): never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man http://tfl.nu/2zew
  Replies (8) Good night (1518) Bad night (427)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.

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  (541): We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin. http://tfl.nu/h15a
  Replies (4) Good night (618) Bad night (399)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?

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  (612): There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night? http://tfl.nu/9ive
  Replies (6) Good night (1086) Bad night (232)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.

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  (202): She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising. http://tfl.nu/7jp1
  Replies (2) Good night (646) Bad night (186)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?

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  (816): so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet? http://tfl.nu/ne2f
  Replies (2) Good night (510) Bad night (223)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.

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  (214): Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch. http://tfl.nu/gat0
  Replies (1) Good night (522) Bad night (237)

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