hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public