Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  my computer doesn't work...

  (619): View more from California

  why?

  (419): View more from Ohio

  i puked on it last night

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  (419): my computer doesn't work... (619): why? (419): i puked on it last night http://tfl.nu/kifb
  Replies (4) Good night (848) Bad night (2417)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her

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  (513): you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her http://tfl.nu/dn9c
  Replies (48) Good night (847) Bad night (5442)
• Favorite

  (325): View more from Texas

  Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...

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  (325): Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on... http://tfl.nu/mq0s
  Replies (42) Good night (1308) Bad night (6669)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.

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  (913): I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough. http://tfl.nu/u5ru
  Replies (26) Good night (728) Bad night (4145)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted

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  (847): I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted http://tfl.nu/5rf7
  Replies (6) Good night (2503) Bad night (1079)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.

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  (802): No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said. http://tfl.nu/3y67
  Replies (11) Good night (619) Bad night (1415)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls

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  (410): Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls http://tfl.nu/o10i
  Replies (4) Good night (2552) Bad night (675)
• Favorite

  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.

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  (339): Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys. http://tfl.nu/p4yk
  Replies (20) Good night (6139) Bad night (849)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  3pm strippers are depressing

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  (320): 3pm strippers are depressing http://tfl.nu/w12t
  Replies (19) Good night (875) Bad night (1848)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.

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  (215): Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know. http://tfl.nu/nlx4
  Replies (6) Good night (1606) Bad night (438)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.

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  (734): The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes. http://tfl.nu/6htc
  Replies (2) Good night (775) Bad night (457)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.

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  (218): His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely. http://tfl.nu/zmgf
  Replies (5) Good night (832) Bad night (335)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.

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  (210): Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often. http://tfl.nu/cowe
  Replies (14) Good night (912) Bad night (382)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.

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  (402): i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding. http://tfl.nu/exiv
  Replies (2) Good night (543) Bad night (282)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables

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  (616): My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables http://tfl.nu/sfy3
  Replies (0) Good night (380) Bad night (324)

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