I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
