Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
