I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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