We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
