when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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