I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
