You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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