They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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