Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
