We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
