I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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