just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
