my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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