I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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