and you said cock pushups were impossible
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I think a kid would responsible me up
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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