still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
