his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
