Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
