Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
