never play flip cup with pint glasses
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
