you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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