I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
