I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
