is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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