Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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