is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He did a backflip because drugs
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
