...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
