I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
