I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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