you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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