How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
