I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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